Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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“I found out what the secret to life is: friends. Best friends.”
1.4.25 At my age, I don’t expect to make lots of new friends. Not because I don’t welcome or want new friendships, but because life and routine have settled in, and I don’t find myself in situations very often where I don’t already know most everyone around me. Until I went to rehab surrounded by…
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Comfort Zone
1.3.25 Some days I struggle with what to write about, and other days I can’t put down my #2. Breaking old habits and creating a new lifestyle is really fucking difficult. I have to make a conscious effort every day to force myself out of my comfort zone and seek comfort in new places and…
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Therapy Hostage
1.2.25 I’m learning a lot about myself in counseling and feel more comfortable with my counselor every session. It is without a doubt emotionally draining, but dealing with old, ignored emotions isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s just necessary to make room for better emotions. I relate counseling to a hostage situation. But I’m not…
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Reso-fucking-lutions
1.1.25 Getting clean isn’t the hard part. Being clean, vulnerable, unapologetically transparent, and learning to love yourself, that’s the challenge. My resolutions for 2025 are all focused on learning to love myself. For some that may seem like a very easy thing to do, but for those of us suffering from addiction, it’s very hard…