Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Happiness
3.7.25 Happiness is a positive emotion and state of mind I’m getting to know. I used to expect to feel happiness because I was entitled to it and deserved it without lifting a finger. What a fucking idiot. I’m learning that my happiness is dependent on my choices and actions. When I choose to focus…
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Dealing With Difficult People
3.6.25 When I started in management, these types of seminars were very popular, and I attended quite a lot of them. Being straightforward, blunt, and matter-of-fact in management is not recommended; I’m great at all of these! I wish I had learned the tools and skills I am learning now in recovery when I started…
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90 Seconds
3.4.25 An emotion is a chemical process associated with our subconscious that only lasts 90 seconds biologically. Today was a rough day at work, and I found myself reading from the big book twice for sanity. It helped, but I remembered reading something about emotions lasting a short time and decided to search online. 90…
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YOLO
3.3.25 Decisions are hard. Going outside my comfort zone is hard. Adulting is hard. I was given a great opportunity to go to Kauai in June, which I promptly declined without hesitation. It’s been on my mind, and I hate that I said no so quickly without even thinking it through. 100 reasons automatically started…