Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Sadness Sucks

    3.11.25 Since my counseling appointment yesterday, I have been overwhelmed with sadness. We’re dealing with issues that are beyond frustrating because I don’t understand why I can’t get the fuck over my sadness they make me feel. I could talk and cry through the feelings enough to realize the root emotion is failure. I failed…

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  • Book Club

    3.10.25 Last week I was invited to join a book club with a group of women in recovery. I only know a few of them, so it will be a great opportunity to get to know more women in recovery. Lucky for me, they only meet once a month on a night I don’t have…

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  • Who Came Up With Daylight Savings?

    3.9.25 I’m excited for longer days, but I woke up so confused this morning. Was it supposed to be dark still at this time? What time is the sun going to set now? Do I feed the animals at the old time or the new time? So many questions! I didn’t feel settled until I…

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  • 4 Months Strong

    3.8.25 Today marks 4 months sober! 4 months physically, mentally, and spiritually healthier and stronger than I was 4 months, 1 day ago when I was admitted to rehab. I hate remembering who I was because it opens a floodgate of emotions. The list could go on for pages: sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, remorse, guilt, self-pity.…

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