Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Quitting Is Not an Option
12.27.24 One of the first sober truths you are told in rehab and AA is to take a good look around at your peers because in three months only half of them will still be coming to these rooms with you. In a year, you’ll be lucky to see only a few. The really fucked…
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Worthy of Love
12.26.24 This is a tough topic that I struggle with. Past relationships in my life have left me feeling abandoned, heartbroken, like no matter how much I gave, cared, shared, and loved it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t worthy of love. I am working on this but it’s not a light switch I…
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The Gift
12.25.24 Every day in recover is a gift, the gift of sobriety, and working towards being the best version of yourself. When you actively participate in your recovery and work the twelve steps you go to meetings and share your honest, intimate, and vulnerable feelings with the group and listen to others share theirs with…
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Christmas Eve 2024
12.24.24 I don’t learn the easy way. I do everything to the extreme. Rehab right before the most stressful time of year, spend Thanksgiving in rehab, and come home just in time for the madness right before Christmas. I learn the really fucking hard way! The upside is that I usually don’t make the same…